Yes, but it’s not a dealbreaker. They matter surprisingly little, considering looks are usually what first attracts you to a person. As mentioned, finding someone physically attractiveisn’t the only reason for sexual interest. If she hits that baseline, everything after that is nice, but really not priority/necessary. in the end, she dumped me. For me, it's just like a binary of whether I find the woman physically attractive or not. Over 20% of women posted photos of their younger selves. For me it's not so much a matter of degrees of hotness or cuteness or beauty, just whether or not I find them attractive (at least when it comes to me being romantically interested). Yep, for me it won't even get close to the relationship stage if the looks aren't good. That's what I care about. Relationships are not usually smooth sailing, no matter how much we care about the people that we date. Mix. Its stupid but it is true. You need good chemistry and rapport and actually liking one another's personalities and trust and communication to build a good relationship, looks aren't directly involved in that process, they just are a prerequisite to it starting. We can be reasonably sure that while looks are significant in a relationship but they are not the most important thing, especially in a long-term relationship. Harder to judge about this, but I'm awkward and weird as hell, so having the ability to deal with my logic/mindset would be pretty sweet too! Basically this and what you mentioned above OP. Sup guys, you can use my code "SSS30" to get 30% OFF (just $10!) It's like a wheel on a car. Digg. Everyone wants to be with someone they are attracted to but I don't love my wife because she's cute. I don't think that is shallow, you want to make sure your offspring have traits that are beneficial. I agree that looks should not matter, and a person’s character should be measured by what they do, not what they look like. Also probably more common that, if you have a good looking gf, you would want sex more too right? First and foremost comes personality, so long as you're above a certain attractiveness threshold. She wasn't the best looking gal out there. Sections of this page. Unfortunately, this is not always what ensues even by people with good intentions. We're bound to argue sometimes and run into some major drama and conflict. So looks matter only in the initial phases of a relationship, but as it progresses, other factors come into play. I like to think it gives everyone a chance, even the not so good looking people...not to sound mean. The foundation of a healthy relationship includes: Boundaries: You and your partner are able to find ways to meet each other’s’ needs in ways that you both feel comfortable with. When I say attraction matters it has nothing to do with him being a 10 and it’s more about how he treats me mixed with what my personal preferences in looks are. Also being a relationship kind of makes you more desirable (if you are a woman) and with more social skills (if you are a man) generally. connection, communication, goal setting, and supporting one another. Do Looks Matter. If you see others posting comments that violate this tag, please report them to the mods! Viber. In this Hayley Quinn video, I'll tell you my answer to this ultimate dating question. Can you imagine living with a vapid idiot the rest of your life. Attraction is vital in relationships but that doesn't mean that it's the most important thing or someone has to be conventionally attractive for you to love them. After all, we bring our own emotional baggage when we enter a new relationship, and our partner does the exact same thing. When i was younger, getting good looking gf was awesome, but as I age, I feel looks don't matter much.. more about connection, communication, goal setting, and supporting one another. But it does mean you are making your life unnecessarily difficult. A person who is passionate is way more attractive to me, they could be twins and if one is dispassionate and uncaring about their life or has no drive it is a huge turn off. Everyone wants to be with someone they are attracted to but I don't love my wife because she's cute. LINE. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Intelligence. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. There's also taking care of yourself. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. In terms of a relationship, they're equally important. Mutual respect is an absolute must in any healthy relationship. I believe that any girl can become the most beautiful girl to anyone over time, once you know them more and more. In … My point here isn’t to say that you need to look good to get girls. I'm not saying that I will only date smart women with degrees, but they need to be able to maintain a good conversation about different topics. What assurance you have that 1 year down the road the hot girl becomes ugly? Women apparently lied more than men, with the most common dishonesties being about looks. Well of course, I want good looking babies and tall kids, so I am quite.. superficial in that sense. Don't kill me, but let me explain why. wow can't believe i said that. Quite, but not the most important part. If my SO became horribly disfigured, I would sincerely love him no less. Pretty much, Acting their age. If you're in an unequal relationship, that won't ever matter because your partner will never be wrong. Romantic relationships can be a lot of fun! In extreme cases, you'll be too afraid of your partner to even bother arguing. After attempting to get back, she said no. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Most people will (or should) look beyond that when deciding to initia… Attention! I like Steven Ussery’s answer. Generally, good-looking people date other good-looking people, and unattractive people date others in their own “league.” Good looks are important to being a candidate for a relationship. Do looks matter? I'm 23 and for me, looks matter when dating and first starting a relationship, but they don't matter once I'm in love. My top things in a girlfriend are usually (and not in any order), I need to be attracted to her, This both means physically & mentality. Perhaps over time they will matter less as you fall more in love with the person's personality, but if the emotional attraction is to begin the spark of physical attraction must first exist. This week, we talk about that age old debate. We clearly live in a society of appearances, where being young and pretty is still one of the main goals in life for many people, but do they actually matter in the long run? This is only slightly truer for men than for women — women are drawn to attractive men as much as men are drawn to attractive women. Looks matter to women The study suggests that if a man is considered at least moderately attractive, then his personality matters to women, Fugère said. If you can't stand being seen with someone that you consider unattractive, then dating someone with looks that you don't approve of isn't necessarily much better than dating someone that's gorgeous but incompatible. If she isn't pretty enough to make babies with or bang, she's not going to register on my radar to date. VK. If she isn't pretty enough to make babies with or bang, she's not going to register on my radar to date. Communication: You and your partner can share your feelings, even when you don’t agree, in a way that makes the other person feel safe, heard, and not judged. Sex The Secret Reason Why Sex Is So Crucial in Relationships New research on sex in relationships shows the real reason it can benefit yours. Just got out of a relationship, had a cute gf. The start of a new relationship is nearly always one of the most exciting times, as you each explore one another’s hopes, dreams … and bodies. But there is no getting around the fact that sexual interest starts with finding someone attractive physically. Dating someone for their looks can end badly, so looks arent important at all. If she burned her face off tomorrow she would still be the same person. luckybiatch replied and said: It’s important and I do agree with the above gURLS, however when I first met my boyfriend, I wasn’t necessarily physically attracted to him. If yes, then everything else comes into play (personality, personal chemistry, intelligence, humor, ect). I keep myself fit, I'd expect the same from a potential partner. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. They could look average but be great, and I'll think they're the most beautiful person in the world. Good looks are important to being a candidate for a relationship. Best analogy I've heard for this, thanks. A person really doesn't need to be "good looking" to be sexually attractive to someone, especially once you get to know them deeply as a person. If I'm physically attracted to someone at all, then that's enough - if they happen to be fucking awesome, that makes them inherently much, much more attractive to me anyway. Looks matter, and sex is an important part of a healthy relationship. Plus, there is a metric for "Attractive" based on our own appearance, or perception there in. Its been scientifically proven that couples who do not like each other's smell/body smell (pheromones play a role here and its mostly a sub-conscious stimulant) are more likely to end their relationship. Just don't be an asshole about it. This is based on what league you're in. Character traits like that are attractive in themselves. I guess this can be a little shallow. So how important is one person's look to you? But appearance and attraction are different to everyone. I've dated guys who I didn't necessarily consider good-looking, but the attraction was there. Doesn't mean I don't want to aim high, but what I consider to be high is strongly affected by what kind of person they are. And I mean that genuinely. Physical attraction is very important. Looks don't matter as much as attraction. You need good chemistry and rapport and actually liking one another's personalities and trust and communication to build a good relationship, looks aren't directly involved in that process, they just are a prerequisite to it starting. Neither looks nor personality matter much at all in terms of the life-time partnerships/ marriage. Plenty of guys have found happiness in their dating lives despite their appearance; a handful even lead playboy lifestyles despite being completely out of shape. The vibe or spark, I guess you could call it, outweighed how I would subjectively rate their looks. Just need to look decent, the rest is personality. Without it, you actually have nothing. Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach Inc. 117,632 views Jump to. Being attracted to someone sexually happens for a variety of reasons. That's what I care about. For women, most certainly. The initial spark sure, we can all agree on that, but in the long run? Physical attraction is a good starter, I have to be attracted obviously, and no amount of passion, or intelligence is going to cure ugly (sadly) and that is true of everyone. Posted Jul 04, 2017 I promise this is important. ReddIt. Don't think I've had a single girlfriend who believed me yet. Looks fade, personality is situational at best, look at your prospective mate’s behavior in various situations. "When you really respect the person you’re with, your future is clear," Masini says. The study notes that girls actively sought signs of “status” when judging the man’s clothes, and they liked that look better because it suggested a good provider. I don't date unattractive girls, but I'm not dating any dummies either. Not being in shape doesn’t mean you can’t get girls. Well, to put it nicely, no. The most important thing is mutual attraction, rather than her being a 10/10 fine as fuck dime. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Keep hearing that looks fade, would like the opinions of older redditors about how this statement is actually true. Do Looks Matter To Men In Dating And Relationships. A stable relationship often involves planning a future, whatever that looks like: renting together, buying a house, owning cars, having kids, taking lots of vacations. What would you do at that point? Press J to jump to the feed. There’s plenty of people I find super hot or adorable and overall attractive that others would really have no interest in. Smell is one of them. If you asked me Do looks matter in a relationship, I would Say attraction is a heuristic, not an algorithm; everyone has their own recipe of what is beautiful and what’s sublime, but assign different weights for each of the categories! They don’t matter much, if at all, for women. I think there has to be some level of physical attraction, but having a good personality and intelligence is most important. I know that the average age in this sub is very young, but even given that, there is a ridiculous frequency with which commentors are confusing "looks" and "sexual attraction". Any relationship is doomed if you're not physically attracted to your partner. My ex, I sometimes didn't want sex, and sometimes I thought about other girls we did it. For men, quite a bit in their younger years and then it kind of tapers off. Covert Narcissist Signs You are Dealing with a Master Manipulator/Lisa A Romano Podcast - Duration: 26:01. I guess the relationship worked in the past btw us because I felt close with her. I think looks are not everything, if you have feelings for that girl you should be with her, it doesnt matter if shes not the pretties girl out there. They matter a huge amount. Beauty changes and fades with time, if a relationship is based solely on how appealing your partner looks it is bound to be temporary. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Then afterwards, I found another girl that is more attractive, tall and all, and we clicked and she's quite understanding, but for some reason I still hung up on the ex. Keep looking and don’t settle for someone who doesn’t meet your standards! Tumblr. It's not enough by itself but without it the car is not going anywhere. That being said normally I don't attempt any relationships with a girl I'm not physically attracted to. Telegram. Physical attraction is very important to me but it's more of a threshold than a strict hierarchy. I need to be physically attracted to you. That doesn't mean you have to be the hottest girl I know. Grooming and manners and keeping up a healthy body. If she burned her face off tomorrow she would still be the same person. People should obviously be in love and all that to have kids, but there is some level of animal brain that will always be there. For hook ups, it's probably 75/25 physical attraction to mental attraction. I think a better phrase would be "looks don't matter as long as you're attracted to them" or "looks don't matter if they have an unattractive personality." Please keep in mind that the OP of this thread has chosen to mark this post with the [Serious] replies only tag, therefore any replies that are jokes, puns, off-topic, or are otherwise non-contributory will be removed. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. They matter surprisingly little, considering looks are usually what first attracts you to a person. Guys looking to meet women often ask the question, "Do looks matter?" Extremely important, looks are just as important as their personality to me. It has to be a good balance between both. It’s not only about the way they look. I just think it's cool. Depends how much appearances matter to the people in the relationship. What other factors do you think are the foundations of a successful relationship? Once I've deemed her attractive enough to have a relationship with then the other things like personality and connection come into play. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. But men were only marginally better. Well short answer, yes. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Who are you more likely to give a chance, the hot girl who is the life of the party, or the slightly overweight dickbutt? Looks are important, but they are a complimentary factor to things like style, confidence, and passion. 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